An Interview With Cleo Lacy

It has been years since I interviewed Cleo Lacy, then the propaganda minister of the UFT who's prime job was to protect the great leader and make crap look like steak.  Cleo defended the undefendable, the infamous 2005 "giveback" laden contract that gave us extra time, the ATR crisis, reduction of grievance rights, and the "fair student funding".  He also was one of the members of the secretive ATR committee that ignored the concerns of the ATRs.  In a previous interview he had wished they would all retire and leave. I decided it was time to interview Cleo Lacy once again.

Chaz:  Mr. Lacy, why did you leave the UFT for Washington?

Cleo Lacy:  Because the great leader needed me there since she cannot operate without me.

Chaz:  Didn't you think that your absence hurt the members?

Cleo Lacy:  Who gives a shit.  I was sick and tired of the whinny members.  They always wanted me to help them out.  I had more important work to do like protecting the great leader and getting more money.

Chaz:  Wait a second!  Your salary is paid by member dues, don't you think that the members are important?

Cleo Lacy:  Screw the members, just give me my much deserved money.

Chaz:  I see that the Great Leader jumped the gun and supported Hillary Clinton?

Cleo Lacy:  That's right.

Chaz:  Why didn't the Great Leader poll her membership before the endorsement?

Cleo Lacy: She did, she polled me, Mikey, and her inner circle.  That's all that counts.

Chaz:  Don't you believe the full membership should vote on an endorsement?

Cleo Lacy:  Screw the members.  They don't vote anyway.

Chaz:  I see where you think Common Core is the way to go.

Cleo Lacy:  Yeah but I'm pissed, I wanted to be known as the one to punch Common Core opponents in the face not Mikey.

Chaz:  I also see that you were against the "opt out" movement?

Cleo Lacy:  I'm a strong supporter of high-stakes testing since it doesn't affect me or the Great Leader and those parents who "opt out" don't know what they are doing.  Testing is good.

Chaz:  Now I see you are defending the union on not going after the class size issue?  Don't you believe lower class sizes are important for academic achievement?

Cleo Lacy:  Screw class sizes, the more students the merrier, when I taught in the classroom 20 years ago, I not only walked miles uphill both ways in a snowstorm but had full classes of eager and willing students who were thrilled to have me as a teacher. Come to think of it, most of the seats in my class were empty.  Don't publish this response to the question.

Chaz:  Is it true that you defended larger class sizes under PROSE?

Cleo Lacy: Its a lie!  A dammed lie!   Wait, let me talk to the Great Leader.  Oops, we support larger class sizes because the teachers want it for their PROSE school and they know best.

Chaz:  If Hillary wins will the Great Leader be Secretary of Education?

Cleo Lacy:  I hope so.  Then I can be the nation's propaganda minister and get another pension on the backs of the people.  Oops, I mean the voice of the people on education issues.

Chaz:  If that scenario occurs then you will have four pension when you retire?

Cleo Lacy:  Who's retiring?  Where else can I lie for a living, do little real work, and get overpaid?

Chaz:  Thank you for your time.

Cleo Lacy:  You welcome and screw you all.