Santa Claus, while waiting to do his real job, delivering presents to the world's children, received an email from the Department of Education that as a discontinued teacher, Santa Claus can now apply for the many vacancies cropping up in the Bronx where a teacher shortage has made it impossible to fill this year. Later that week a Bloomberg small high school contacted Santa Claus for a Social Studies position. As a world traveler, Santa Claus was well founded in Geography and cultural History and eagerly accepted the position.
Santa Claus knew he had to stay clear of all the issues that got him in trouble before. Here, Here, and Here. That meant no "Ho, Ho, Ho's". Not saying "were you naughty or nice"? Certainly don't let the students sit on his lap. Moreover, don't threaten to break into their homes and cause environmental damage by placing coal in their stockings. Finally, never accept cookies and milk from the children since the DOE considers it a bribe. By now with his past run-ins with the DOE, Santa knew the DOE's policies were more like that of the Taliban's than American and any deviation of the DOE orthodoxy could result in his termination.
At first, Santa Claus was doing just fine teaching at the Bronx high school, he even received an "effective" on his first informal observation in October. However, things rapidly deteriorated and by Thanksgiving the school was having trouble retaining staff and teacher turnover was high due to the high needs student body and poor administrative discipline procedures. Unfortunately, Santa Claus knew the time was fast approaching when he needed to take a leave of absence to do his real job, spreading cheer and joy to the world's children. Santa Claus took a FLMA and promised he would be back at the beginning of the new year. The school administration was quite unhappy and to retaliate, observed him on his last day before taking FMLA and of course , Santa received an "ineffective".
Santa just shrugged off the feeble and vindictive attempt to hurt him and did his job of giving the world's children their presents and once he finished spreading cheer and joy to the globe, Santa Claus showed up at his teaching job, as promised, on January 3rd. However, Santa was met at the front door by a school safety officer and a school administrator who refused him entry into the school. Instead he was handed a letter that said the following. "Mr. Santa Claus, you are hereby being reassigned, pending further investigation, due to your conduct unbecoming a teacher. Please report to the reassignment center listed in the letter".
For the next two months Santa Claus sat at an empty desk at a reassignment center and did nothing until one day he was given notice to report to the Superintendent for a hearing on the DOE charges against him. Santa was joyous, certainly, a respected educator would see what a benefit he is both in and out of the classroom. However, Santa Claus was quite disappointed when he realized the Superintendent did not get her job because of her educational ability but was simply a political hack who didn't even have the qualifications of a tenured teacher to be a Superintendent but the Chancellor waived the educational requirement anyway. The hearing was a farce. Santa's union appointed advocate was a retired Unity slug who barely asked any questions and seemed not to care about Santa. The results were inevitable. Once again Santa Claus was discontinued and his file now has a "problem code" and a "do not hire" label. Poor Santa Claus once again finds himself terminated by the dysfunctional DOE and a Merry Christmas to all!
15 comments:
Very funny but so very true. I can just see this happening.
Funny story indeed. Too bad Santa hasn't learned the rules for survival within the DOE. I have my copy. There are 21 official rules to follow. Those with families, mortgages, realistic life burdens (unlike this Santa Claus who can take an FMLA prior to a huge break) do not have room for error. If the rules are followed, survival is realistic. They are practiced and they are working.
It is a sad system that is going to collapase.
I have real life burdens and s family and a mortgage so I get it 10:08. Just trying to survive as well and totally understand your post.
Dwarka and her APs all do anal!
Happy Holidays, Chaz.
Santa, please let Namita Dwarka get what she deserves this year.
Hey anon 10:08, would you share your 21 rules?
I have never experienced evil, vindictive, petty, lying control freaks like I've found in DOE administrators. In ten years I've had ten administrators (it's like a revolving door), and each new one was actually worse than the last.
I survived and was only put under the flame thrower for one six month period, but it was so intense I felt my soul was burned. I saw many good people reduced to tears and panic attacks. A few were fired for absolutely no reason - just made up stuff because the admins didn't like them or wanted to look tough to their superintendents.
At this point, I just keep my head low, only talk to a few trusted friends at work, rake in as much per session as possible, let myself be seen by the admins 'staying late,' and smile to everybody. Oh, and did I mention: everybody passes with no less than a 65, and most get above 85. I don't like it, but any staff members who try to 'hold them accountable' literally get a big, fat target on their backs and are made to suffer.
Untenured teachers especially, who lack wisdom in this regard, are getting a lot of grief. Who do they expect will be teachers in the future in minority dominated inner city ghettos if it is literally a dead end, short-lived job prospect? The kids are, of course, out-of-control with the phones, drugs, defiance, lack of basic skills, party and pregnancy goals, etc. I am half way to retirement and sometimes don't think that goddess Danielson will let me get there.
And let's not forget poor Rudolph, whose stable went through a 'turn around model'resulting in his being dumped into the ATR pool. Now instead of making his rounds delighting children worldwide, his brilliant red nose is relegated to sniffing out parking spots and bathroom keys. Also, Rudolph is excluded from Reindeer games such as per session,coaching PSAL, retirement parties, end-of-year fetes and despite his unstinting generosity towards his other Reindeer friends for 18 years at his stable (always contributing to sunshine fund,deaths, illnesses,retirement gifts) Rudolph never heard a word from any of his Reindeer "Friends" after getting the boot. In fact, when a Reindeer with 7 years less service was hired back what do you think the Reindeer Chapter chair did? That's right- nothing,not an email, phone call, letter, zilch, zero nada nothing. So let this be a sad but true holiday message, the Reindeer you work with are just that, co workers, They are neither your friends, and certainly not family. I know a Reindeer who just achieved his 22 year milestone,any letter of thanks,congratulations?? You guessed right again Watch your back in the new year everyone
Well --if Santa was fired by the DOE--then maybe he could get a job with the NY Yankees--as long as he shaves off beard.
What a wonderful day......
I just received the January 5, 2017 copy of the New York Teacher.
On the front page, the UFT noted more than two dozen "What lies ahead in 2017" topics........none of which included the ATR debacle.
Mulgrew, you really are a worthless piece of shit.
Happy New Year scumbag!
Guiermo
Per my comments about Namita Dwarka and her APs doing anal....
I sincerely apologize to all my colleagues that enjoy such efforts.
They will be out in front of computer screens.
Guiermo--- your first mistake was OPENING your copy of NY Teacher. That's a sure way to needlessly raise your blood pressure. Anything really important will probably be communicated to you via letters, memos, your chapter leader, etc. No one has time to waste reading puff pieces praising the Unity Party, because that's all the NY Teacher is, a cheerleader for all the wonderful things the Unity Party does for you, in printed form. This can cause cognitive dissonance and therefore distress to any rational reader.
The best use for your copy of NY Teacher is to line your cat litter box. Since my cats are highly discerning and won't even deign to use it to relieve themselves on, I find the best use of NY Teacher is to keep my counter neat when I repot houseplants. It catches all the excess unwanted soil, which can then be neatly disposed of. Since most of the content of NY Teacher would come under the category excess unwanted soil, this is a perfectly compatible use.
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