Saturday, October 21, 2006

Stop Complaining About Our Most Wonderful Contract

Yes, it's me Cleo Lacey. I have hijacked Chaz's blog to show you the power I have, punks! Now that I have control of this blog, it's time to set the record straight.

First of all, I am sick and tired about all the classroom teachers whining about our most glorious leader, Le Gran Fromage, who gave us the best contract we ever have had. Under our imperious leader, Le Gran Fromage, you undeserving scumbags received a 33% pay increase in the last two contracts. How can you be so critical of that? We at UFT headquarters, with our double pensions, have seen our salary shoot up to $125,000 +. Wait, you say that no classroom teacher makes even $100,000? Who cares about you? We are the important ones not you.

Second, under our most wonderful leader, Le Gran Fromage, we have ensured that any teacher who wants to transfer can. In fact, we had more transfers than in any other year. Yes there are some disgruntled teachers (the ones who can't teach) who are now ATR's because the principals were smart enough not to hire them. Anyway, those ATR's don't have to prepare lesson plans, grade tests, and prepare progress reports, sounds like heaven to me. Or as we say here on-the-job-retirement.

Third, under our all-knowing leader, Le Gran Fromage, we ensured that the pedophiles and perverts in the system will get what they deserve, a 90-day unpaid suspension, until the Office Of Special Investigations (OSI) recommends their removal from the system. I'm sick and tired of hearing about due process. So what that OSI assumes the teacher is guilty based upon a student accusation. Yes, I know that many of the accusations are false and in that case they get their job and pay back. Reputation? What do I care about a teacher's reputation? That's their problem not mine! I don't have to deal with those brats.

Fourth, we agree with the administration that you classroom teachers have had it much too easy. More time in the classroom is just what is needed here. I was so proud that our fearless leader Le Gran Fromage, allowed me to develop the curriculum for those bratty UFT Charter School students who must stay extra hours in the classroom. If it was up to me there would be even more classroom time for teachers. Because of your complaints I was told that I must put in an entire extra hour in my plush air-conditioned office once a week (like I really do that, ha, ha).

Fifth, stop complaining about the extra days you work. In my days in the classroom back in the 60s, I couldn't wait to come to school and begged the custodian to let me in a week before school starts. I also stayed until sunset before I went home. Of course I walked six miles uphill to and back from home to school. Do you? Of course not.

Finally, you ignorant classroom teachers don't see the big picture. The rapes and killings at Durfur, The killing of striking teachers in Mexico (so what no actual teachers were killed at the time I championed it in Edwiz), and Wal-Mart are the real problems not class sizes, inadequate facilities, lapsed student discipline enforcement, poor salaries, and teacher disrespect. Who cares what you classroom teachers think? I would like to end this enlightened blog with how we allow Nazis in our mist. When I complained to the Anti-Defamation League about these Nazis, they choose not to take it seriously. Maybe I need to consult with Mel Gibson on what a Nazi is.

Cleo Lacey is a fictional character and any similarities between Cleo and any real person is just coincidential.

3 comments:

NYC Educator said...

Cleo lives! I shudder to think what he's done to you, Chaz.

All I can do is wish you the best.

advisor said...

Cleo's prose is wanting....Perhaps Redhog could give him some style points. HE is a professional. HE writes for a paper.

Cleo, what I always wanted to know about was when you were Chapter Leader and Randi was a teacher at your school. I bet that would be a really interesting story.

Never has one man done so much for so many...unfortunately none of them are in our union.

Anonymous said...

Chaz-

Please update the math from your post from earlier in the month. The DC 37 pattern was for 32 months. Take away the 12 that we already have and it's 6% for 20 months. I think Cleo has gotten into your head. Are you going to tell us to be satisfied with 3.6% a year?

That might be $40 additional instead of the additional $35 we just added last week. And, did you notice your union dues automatically went up too. Do you think Cleo and company earned their extra money?