Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Santa Claus, The DOE, And The 3020-a Hearing



Have you wondered what would happen if Santa Claus was a teacher in today's DOE? Well it is quite obvious that poor old Santa Claus would never survive the classroom and the allegations that go with it.

Let's take a peek at Santa Claus during his 3020-a hearing.


The DOE lawyer asks Santa Claus why he kept telling the girls in the class that they are Hoe's? Santa Claus responds by saying "I said Ho, Ho, Ho. Not that they are Hoes". The DOE lawyer states that Hoe and Ho are the same and the girls complained that they believed he was calling them Hoes. The DOE lawyer then brings up why did he threaten them with coal in their stockings if they didn't act nice? Santa Claus responds: "That is my way to encourage them to do the right things in life". The DOE lawyer states that sounds like you are scaring them. Santa Claus responds. "I was trying to get them to be good". The DOE lawyer then ask haven't you asked the students to sit on your lap? Santa Claus responds. "Yes". The DOE lawyer then asks didn't you tell the children that you will break into their house when they are sleeping? Santa Claus responds. "Yes, but only on Christmas Eve". So you admit to threatening them with breaking and entering into their homes? Santa Claus responds. "I guess so". Finally, is it true that you tried to bribe the children with presents if they sat on your lap?
Santa Claus responds. "I was not trying to bribe them".

In his closing statement the DOE lawyer states the following. The DOE has proved his case that Santa Claus is guilty of the following offenses.
  1. Sexual misconduct of a verbal nature in calling the girls Hoes.
  2. Sexual misconduct of a physical nature by forcing the children to sit on his lap.
  3. Corporal Punishment by threatening them with a lump of coal in their stockings,
  4. Verbal Abuse by threatening them with no presents for being naughty.
  5. Felony criminal charge of "breaking & entering" and "bribing" the children.
Since Santa Claus was already off the payroll because of "probable cause". Thanks to the 2005 contract. He was already broke and without health benefits. Unfortunately, the Arbitrator believed that the DOE lawyer proved his case and terminated poor old Santa Claus. Even old St. Nick could not survive in the NYC classroom.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just love these last two posts of yours. It is so funny.

Pissed Off said...

LOL--I'm giving my college final now and almost laughed out loud reading this! How sad and true along with funny.

Anonymous said...

It seems so incredible that this can happen, how horrible that it is true. Shame on the DOE, they should be on the same charges they put on the teachers, only then will they feel what they have done to others

Chaz said...

Sad but true. The DOE thinks everything is sexual when a male teacher interacts with his students.
It makes a person wonder who are the perverted ones are.

Anonymous said...

Dear Chaz:

At this website, you and some others posted many comments regarding 3020a proceedings. They are valuable resources for any teachers who are facing disciplinary actions from their principals and DOE lawyers.

Based upon my personal experience and some of my friends in the rubber room, I noticed a new trend of malicious collaboration between DOE and UFT to summarily punish senior teachers. In last few months, DOE with the complicit of NYSUT attorneys exploit the loophole, the expedited 3020a proceeding, in our 2005 contract , and use it not only on the cases limited to absences/lateness but on many other charges such as misconduct and incompetence. By doing so, DOE and UFT further weaken the 3020a protections, which has already been greatly weakened by our recent 05 contract.

The expedited 3020a proceeding was intended and clearly stated for the cases of absences and lateness, but by employing it on many other charges, DOE can summarily discipline (fine or suspension) any teacher they dislike at a low cost within a matter of few months.

To make the matter even worse , UFT not only helps DOE to get away with the abuse of the proceedings, its lawyers actually do not bother to inform, or even conceal from their clients of their right to reject the expedited proceeding and of their right to request a full regular hearing. Many teachers who are unknown to their right, have been summarily fined, suspended and turned into an ATR.

An enemy within is ten times more dangerous than an enemy from outside. No one can do more potential harm to a teacher than his or her NYSUT attorney.

I want every teacher to know that he or she does not have to take expedited 3020a proceeding forced upon them by DOE and sugarcoated by UFT lawyers. Please ask for a full regular hearing and force your principal to prove the case against you.

Chaz said...

anon:

Thanks for the compliment. I agree with you that some of the NYSUT lawyers do not have the teachers interest in making settlements. However, I am not aware that NYSUT and the DOE is increasing and expanding the expedited 3020-a hearings. The speeding up of hearings seems to be the increase in both arbitrators and settlements.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Chaz:

At the expedited hearing, the normal rules of trials and evidences do not apply, DOE and principals do not even have to prove their charges, it really reduces 3020a into another grievence hearing, we all know what happens at the end of a chancellor's hearing, but with much more serious consequences with expedited hearing, a teacher can be fined or suspended up to six months. The only comfort is that no termination is seeked. However, DOE will only bring an extremely weak case to the expedited hearing. NO holds barred if they really have something solid on a teacher.
I am speechless, how UFT let this happen and help DOE to get away with it.

proofoflife said...

Funny You! Loved this. Have a Happy Ho ..oops Holiday!

Anonymous said...

Your Santa Claus post is the funniest and saddest think I have read in a long time. Funny because even Santa Claus can be targeted. Sad because it is true in today's DOE.

The Bus Driver said...

you forgot stalking....

he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake....

i mean he's one creepy dude yanno