Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Thought Police At The DOE Have Banned The Topic Of Dinosaurs For their New Tests For Elementary & Middle School Students And I Agree!


My first reaction to the DOE banning 50 taboo subjects for their new tests was here we go again those wackos from Tweed using their warped idea of social policy to impose ridiculous limitations on the school system's students. What idiot at Tweed actually believes that the topic of dinosaurs are dangerous to the NYC students? Maybe somebody should tell those non-educators that dinosaurs are extinct. Yes, according to the Earth Science Reference Tables dinosaurs became extinct 65.5 millions year ago! Then again, we are talking about Tweed which wastes millions of dollars on high priced consultants, complex and unworkable computer programs, and corrupt managers.

On second thought, the "DOE Thought Police" may have a real reason to ban the topic of dinosaurs on their tests. It seems that dinosaurs are not extinct! Yes, one dinosaur is still living in our present day society, it is Barney, the Purple Dinosaur! Now I understand Tweed's thinking on why they banned the topic of dinosaurs. You see Barney, the Purple Dinosaur has been found to be sexually inappropriate with children. According to the DOE Barney, the Purple Dinosaur has been terminated after a 3020-a hearing and therefore since he is the only surviving member of an extinct race, the DOE has made dinosaurs a taboo subject.

What did Barney the Purple Dinosaur do? Glad you asked. Here is what he did according to the 3020-a proceedings. Below is his 3020-a hearing.

Barney, the Purple Dinosaur's 3020-a hearing: Mr. Dinosaur, the SCI report states that you have a habit of hugging students and propositioning them by singing love songs about you and them in the classroom. How do you respond to these accusations? Mr. Dinosaur: I do hug students because they like the affection and it shows that people care about them. So you admit to improper hugging? I guess so but it is not improper. Mr. Dinosaur how about the love songs you sing to your students, like "I love you and you love me". Why are you sexually soliciting these students? It's just a song that shows I care, there is nothing sexual about it. So you admit to singing love songs to the students? Yes, I do sing songs to them.

To the arbitrator: I hereby request that you terminate Barney, the Purple Dinosaur for sexually hugging and propositioning the students. You have heard that Mr. Dinosaur admits to the charges and should be terminated from DOE employment. The arbitrator terminates Barney, the Purple Dinosaur.

I must agree that since Barney, the Purple Dinosaur is the only living dinosaur and he admitted to the following:
  • Inappropriate touching
  • Hugging
  • Repeated verbal abuse of a sexual nature
  • Soliciting

Therefore, I support Tweed's decision to make dinosaurs a taboo subject when it comes to our students in Elementary and Middle Schools. I guess in the DOE's case " a stopped clock is right twice a day".

4 comments:

Pissed Off said...

LOL

Invictus said...

You are brilliant! hahahaha

Anonymous said...

So very funny.

Anonymous said...

So hilarious...found myself...laughing out loud.