Friday, December 23, 2016
Santa Claus Is Fired Yet Again By The Dysfunctional DOE.
Santa Claus, while waiting to do his real job, delivering presents to the world's children, received an email from the Department of Education that as a discontinued teacher, Santa Claus can now apply for the many vacancies cropping up in the Bronx where a teacher shortage has made it impossible to fill this year. Later that week a Bloomberg small high school contacted Santa Claus for a Social Studies position. As a world traveler, Santa Claus was well founded in Geography and cultural History and eagerly accepted the position.
Santa Claus knew he had to stay clear of all the issues that got him in trouble before. Here, Here, and Here. That meant no "Ho, Ho, Ho's". Not saying "were you naughty or nice"? Certainly don't let the students sit on his lap. Moreover, don't threaten to break into their homes and cause environmental damage by placing coal in their stockings. Finally, never accept cookies and milk from the children since the DOE considers it a bribe. By now with his past run-ins with the DOE, Santa knew the DOE's policies were more like that of the Taliban's than American and any deviation of the DOE orthodoxy could result in his termination.
At first, Santa Claus was doing just fine teaching at the Bronx high school, he even received an "effective" on his first informal observation in October. However, things rapidly deteriorated and by Thanksgiving the school was having trouble retaining staff and teacher turnover was high due to the high needs student body and poor administrative discipline procedures. Unfortunately, Santa Claus knew the time was fast approaching when he needed to take a leave of absence to do his real job, spreading cheer and joy to the world's children. Santa Claus took a FLMA and promised he would be back at the beginning of the new year. The school administration was quite unhappy and to retaliate, observed him on his last day before taking FMLA and of course , Santa received an "ineffective".
Santa just shrugged off the feeble and vindictive attempt to hurt him and did his job of giving the world's children their presents and once he finished spreading cheer and joy to the globe, Santa Claus showed up at his teaching job, as promised, on January 3rd. However, Santa was met at the front door by a school safety officer and a school administrator who refused him entry into the school. Instead he was handed a letter that said the following. "Mr. Santa Claus, you are hereby being reassigned, pending further investigation, due to your conduct unbecoming a teacher. Please report to the reassignment center listed in the letter".
For the next two months Santa Claus sat at an empty desk at a reassignment center and did nothing until one day he was given notice to report to the Superintendent for a hearing on the DOE charges against him. Santa was joyous, certainly, a respected educator would see what a benefit he is both in and out of the classroom. However, Santa Claus was quite disappointed when he realized the Superintendent did not get her job because of her educational ability but was simply a political hack who didn't even have the qualifications of a tenured teacher to be a Superintendent but the Chancellor waived the educational requirement anyway. The hearing was a farce. Santa's union appointed advocate was a retired Unity slug who barely asked any questions and seemed not to care about Santa. The results were inevitable. Once again Santa Claus was discontinued and his file now has a "problem code" and a "do not hire" label. Poor Santa Claus once again finds himself terminated by the dysfunctional DOE and a Merry Christmas to all!